I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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