I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
