She said her name was "party"
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Randomize
