The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
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