I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
