3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
