I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
