didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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