Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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