I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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