am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
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