Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
