I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
