Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
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