i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
