I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I think i peed on brittanys purse
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
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