There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
