Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Randomize
