So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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