either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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