just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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