paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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