Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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