Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
