I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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