i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Someone signed my nipple.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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