is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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