I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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