Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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