You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
