you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
