Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Randomize
