The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
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