omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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