So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
me + whiskey = a bad person
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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