Moan for me like Helen Keller
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize