Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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