i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
