HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
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