so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
