but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Is her dick bigger than yours?
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
