I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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