everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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