I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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