Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
My balls are so social today.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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