Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
