my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
