A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
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