Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Randomize
