Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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