I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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