Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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