If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
