Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
meet me or not, i'm out of control
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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