I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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