with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
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