im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
