I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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