and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
How does one acquire holy water?
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
