Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
