Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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